Saturday, January 22, 2011

Hurting myself Daniel Tan (20)

How comfortable are you with yourself & how do ensure you do not hurt yourself?

At the moment, I am very comfortable with myself. When I have problems and difficulties, I would tell them to a friend, family member or teacher that I trust and will not tell anyone else. I think we should all do that instead of keeping them to ourselves and end up feeling like you are the only one with that problem and end up injuring yourself or starving yourself. I think we should also have hobbies as they are good way for having fun and gives you a chance to switch off from your problems instead of thinking about them all the time. If you have a problem, try your best to deal with it and do not think about it after dealing with it as it would make you feel more unhappy.

1 comment:

  1. Daniel,

    These are some good methods to ensure good mental health.

    How to expand your writing.
    Start by looking at your topic statement. Your topic statement is 'At the moment , I am comfortable with myself'. However, you don't go on to explain why you are in this state. Are you comfortable because you are happy with your looks, your performance in school, have a supportive family, have CCAs or you do other activities that make you physically fit and mentally strong?

    To help your reader focus better, split your answers to how you ensure do not hurt yourself into more paragraphs. One new idea for a paragraph would be the norm :
    'When I have problems....starving yourself ' is one paragraph

    The next paragraph should start with ' I think we should also have hobbies....all the time'

    The final paragraph should begin with 'If you have a problem.....'

    Can you also find ways to expand each idea ? You could include an example to illustrate your claim.