Chapter 4 Losing it (Joel)

Blog Question:
I learnt to live in the moment; to live your life to the fullest; to not waste your time to express your feelings; to live life carefree (not to worry about what might or will happen in the future) because it just distracts you from the present, all of these moments that are passing is a moment closer to inevitable death. I learnt to just cope with the death of a loved one positively-at least try to; to spread the happiness around while you have it; not to bottle up your emotions, especially when they are strong. Guilt, is one of the strongest emotions anyone could have, so don’t blame yourself for feeling okay faster than you expected, it will just bring you down even more. Cherish your life-its meant to be enjoyed, embraced and cherished, opportunities waiting to be grabbed, dreams waiting to be chased and memories waiting to be made. Don’t let life slip away- once it does, it never comes back.

04 Extensive Reading Questions for Chapter Four: Losing It(08 Heo Yub)

What can you learn or take away from each of the eight articles? Please consider information from the spotlight articles associated with the corresponding articles.

To help you answer the above question, you could:

- pick out one  or more things you think is important to help you be a better person or friend and elaborate on it.

- consider if there was anything to help you cope with losing someone/some people through death, through geographical distance,  etc.  Say why it is helpful.

The first article is about a girl, who finds out that her father has cancer at age 11. From her experience, we can learn that there is "no day but today" and that there we should take the advantage of everyday that we have as it opens and defines new opportunity to all new moments of choices, advancements and permissions. There is truly no day but today to love, no day but today to accept, no day but today to listen and lastly no day but today to live.

The second article is a poem written by a 16 year old girl, which is about how she is no longer angry at her father for dying. From this, we can learn that although we may be angry for someone not being there for us, we should not be mad at them and reject them as one day they might leave us forever.

The third article is about a girl, who had kidney problems since birth and was finally getting kidney from a donor after years of suffering. From this we can learn that we should always be grateful for the gift of life and that its a gift that should be enjoyed, embraced and cherished because once it's gone it'll never come back.

The fourth article is a poem about a girl who feels guilty for causing an accident and getting her friend seriously and permanently hurt. From this poem, we can learn that we should always be careful and take properly safety precautions as accidents could happen at all times.

The fifth article is about a girl, whose friend was killed. From this article, we can learn that we should always show a little kindness in everything we do as it'll rub off them and and soon there would be a chain of kindness, which would benefit all of us.

The sixth article is about a girl, whose friend drowned and died. From this article, we can learn that we should take life one day at a time and not take anything for granted.

The seventh article is about girl, whose friend had gotten addicted to marijuana. From this, we can learn that sometimes, when we know that our friends are having problems, we should let them find their own solutions to their problems as they might eventually grow dependent on you and not know how to solve their own problems.

THe last article is about a girl, who experienced hurricane Katrina firsthand. From this, we can learn that we should cherish life as it is and be thankful for what we have as one day everything might be gone.

Chapter 4 - Losing It (Ronak)

What can you learn or take away from each of the eight articles? Please consider information from the spotlight articles associated with the corresponding chapters.

From the time I have read the eight articles, I have realised how short life is if we keep on stressing out, get busy in work, and other stuff. Everyday we live in our life gives us on short day to live but it also depends on how you live it. If you hate life, live it with hatred and depression every second, it's not called life anymore, it's more of a living hell on Earth. The time we have on Earth, what God gave us to live, we have to be thankful of every second we have. On the other side if we live life the fullest like its the last day, you will feel way longer than what you think you have been through. When we live happy, it's true that we feel stronger, courageous and ready to face anything in life.

I have mainly learnt that whatever we have in life is always very limited no matter how much we try to extend it. It's not in our hands. Our fate, destiny is chosen for us and we cannot change it. We have to live everyday of our life and never think that it is not enough. Family, friends, loved ones, never lose them because who knows anything is possible by the day or two which comes up unexpected later on. Then, we start regretting of what we have done to them and what we should have done. Then we will be saying 'only if...' all our life with hatred and despair, no love left for our own selves. If we do not want to live life after what has happened, only regretting then we got to do something now. Saying sorry or appreciating of what they have done for you in life to help you succeed. Live happy with them, laugh, chat, joke around but never lose them. Maybe after they might have gone you would be happy by remembering about the happy moments you have lived with them and might have been happy that their soul is happy and not begging around for merciless afterlife.

To conclude I only want to say that if you do not want to live this 'only if...' situation in life we got to live life at the unexpected and feel everyday is a new day, and anything can happen now, later or will happen to the time soon coming. Time is something which you cannot change. Time is a very big criminal that can never be caught, never be fooled. Once we have passed time, nothing, not even the most powerful device in the universe can 'Undo' the damage and regret already done. So the very important thing I learnt is that life is one thing we cannot undo or return. We can never undo the damage done. Live everyday of your life and never feel closured or limited in something. Break free your boundaries for what has to happen will happen without a warning...

Chicken Soup chapter 4 (Bevan Koo)

Question for Blogging
What can you learn or take away from each of the eight articles? Please consider information from the spotlight articles associated with the corresponding chapters.

Losing it? Have you lost someone or something important to you? Let me introduce ways for you to learn from events of losing and how to carry on with your life no matter how sad or tough the situation is.
From the first chapter of the book, I had learnt that everyone in the world would surely encounter a situation when you lose someone important in your life.For example, your friend, family members or neighbour. I know you would feel very sad and miss the person that had happy/exciting memories with you in the past.
If you are feeling down, think about all the happy memories you had for that day. It can be getting first in class for your exam or just a little thing like eating just a scoop of Ben&Jerry ice-cream. If you have any problems, you can consult your friends, parents or which do you think best. Remember, they would be glad to help you.
For the second chapter, it is about no longer being mad. Remember not to keep grudges in your heart, let bygones be bygones and forgive/forget. Losing someone is difficult but you still have to continue walking your path of life and not letting grieve stop you from moving on. Remember to do small things to your loved ones like your friends and family before you regret it.
Remember to cherish every moments you have with your family and friends. If you have lost someone important to your life, talk to someone for example counsellor, family or friends and open up your feelings, it would not make your thoughts so bottled up. Missing someone that has passed on is normal and so you can keep their photos or something that can remind you of them.
For the third chapter, it is about the gift of life. We must not take anything that we see/have for granted as you might regret after losing it. Sometimes after losing it, you would always questioned why did you not do this or that. You would feel regretful about what you did and would cause you to be distracted by it very easily. Remember to think before you act.

For the rest of the chapters, you can use the above main pointers of solution to be a better person and solve your problem when you are a problem where you are losing something or someone important. If you ever encounter your friend having a hard type with a lost of something or someone, ask your parents/teacher whether you can help him or her. If they agree, make your friend feel comfortable and let the person know that you really care.

Bevan Koo

Losing it (Chen Yu 17)

What can you learn or take away from each of the eight articles? Please consider information from the spotlight articles associated with the corresponding chapters.

I have learnt several things from that particular chapter of the book, about one losing a certain something, be it family members, or even personal material belongings. Life is a gift, that everyone on this Earth was given, and that eventually, one day you would have to 'return' that gift; hence the cycle of life and death. Death is inevitable to all, and sooner or later we all would die and we should just accept it like how we all should. Its all a matter of time a loved one would left, but what it really matters is that how we spend and cherish that certain remaining time we all have and not idle away crying all day long or something wasting that precious little time we have left.

Everyone experiences grief, in some sort or another, as its a natural human feeling, and we should all take it to our stride and let the matter slide, accept it, and move on happily with life and not just carrying all that grief around thus making your life even more miserable. Sooner or later it would also be our turn to go, and surely we wouldn't want our loved ones living their lives miserably/not properly.

One day, your doctor comes up to you and informs you that you only have a certain period of time to live. Surely most of the human population would freak out and be in a state of shock that all these are happening and that you would have to leave the world just like that. But, still, with that time you have left to live on this world, surely you would want to do what you would want to do and really finally live life with no regrets left and not have anything thing to regret about when you pass on.

I always believe in that we create our own destiny by walking on the path we chose and the actions we display and that what do is done and you cannot escape destiny's bidding. At the end of the day you would only have yourself to blame. Should people complain and grumble about how horrible life is...All I have to say is...TOO BAD. Life wasn't meant to be fair, and that what done has meant done and all you can do is to accept it and get on with life. Should we ever look at life pathetically, its all just a joke god tried to pull due to boredom and we are all little impromptu puppets and death frees us from this torture but we have the choice to break this pathetic chain of events and choose how you would want to live this pathetic time god gave you to perform.

One fine day, someone informs you that you best friend died. Almost instantly all that memories you two have together flows into your mind and you suddenly feel a surge of sadness that is unexplainable through words(seriously). You feel that you are in a state of helplessness and you cannot do anything to savage the situation.(Most of the time..at least) Then most likely you would go curse about how god is unforgiving and that life is unfair(which is true). Sure, over time you would probably get over your state of shock but forever, you wouldn't completely get over the loss of your best friend nor can there be a substitue for him/her..but I learnt that as long as you are willing to open your heart to forget and accept what has happened, there would always be a place in your heart your best friend occupies and for all eternity, your best friend never died and you are always hanging out and having fun together :)

Chapter 4 Duck Soup - Wait, was it Chicken Soup? By Ray

What can you learn or take away from each of the eight chapters? Please consider information from the spotlight articles associated with the corresponding chapters.

What I can take away or learn from the articles is that why does people have to be over grieving when someone dies? We all die in the end, Barack Obama, Lee Hsien Loong, Hu Jin Tao, Kim Jong Il, George Bush, Mark Zuckerburg, Murbarak etc all die. The only thing that makes people grieving more or less is the amount of time we stay on the Milky Way or in layman terms,  the age we die. People feel that like if a grandpa dies at the age of 89 and is a healthy person that died of old age, the family would feel that he had lived life to the fullest. However, if like a small girl at the age of 9 crosses the road on the way to the granddad's funeral and got hit by a car, the family will feel super sad as they feel that that girl has not seen the whole beautiful Earth yet. But, in true fact, we are living life to the fullest, by taking a car, eating your McDonalds, taking a bath, playing your Mousehunt, hacking to people's computers or even getting scolded by some teacher *AHEM*. So the point is that we do not think positively enough when someone kicks the bucket. We have to be more positive when this happens. 

04 Extensive Reading Questions for Chapter Four: Losing It

04 Extensive Reading Questions for Chapter Four: Losing It

1. No Day but Today

Pre-Reading 

• What do you think ‘live for the moment’ means?
• It means to live like everyday is your last.

During-Reading 

• As a teenager, the author, Mary, says that Middle School (Secondary School equivalent) is a hard time for everyone but she had to deal with more. What did Mary have to deal with?

She had to deal with the fact that her father would die of cancer soon in a few years so her time with him was limited.

• Why would Mary have mixed feelings when her father passed away?

She did not want her father to leave their family, but she was also happy for her father as he did not need to suffer anymore.

• Mary said that ‘we simply loved each other and tied up many loose ends as possible’. What could these ‘loose ends’ be?

They may have had arguments in the past, and held grudges against each other.

• Post-Reading

Give at least 3 advantages of living each day like your last. Can you also think of a couple of disadvantages?

Everyone was united and loved each other, making amends for past mistakes or misunderstandings and there was a strong bond of trust among the family members. Everyone may have hid their sadness and worry for Mary’s father, but they are very stressed inside.

1. I’m No Longer Mad

Pre-Reading

• Recall an instance you lost someone (could be through death or through separation because you migrated, etc.) or lost a pet. 
• If you had none of these experiences, consider how you will feel if you lost someone you love dearly suddenly.

I would be devastated and probably go into a state of depression. I will do my best to recover from it though. I will always think of my pet or the person as alive, and never dead.

During-Reading

• Why does the author claim she is no longer mad?

She has forgiven her father for leaving her.

Post-Reading

Consider the ‘five stages of grief’ by Dr E Kubler-Ross on page 101. Does this ring a bell for you in your experiences with grief or loss of a pet/someone? If yes, describe how you dealt with the loss of a loved one (could be human or animal). If you were fortunate enough not have experience grief due to the loss of a loved one, what do you think your reaction would be if you know you will be losing someone / a pet in the near future?

I will try to spend as much time with that person/pet so that I will not regret not utilising my time properly after he/she/it is gone.

1. My Gift of Life

Pre-Reading

- This might seem morbid but what if you were told that you were diagnosed a terminal illness or a major disease such as cancer or a failing liver…  What would be your first reaction?

Shock, but later I would inform everyone important to me, so that if I died nobody would be shocked.

During-Reading

• How many surgeries did the author, Sarah, go through in total? What were they for?

She went through seven surgeries to mend the severe damage done to the kidney by the fluid built up in her organs. The last surgery was for a kidney transplant.

• Why would Sarah be ‘embarrassed by the whole situation’ (bottom of pg. 105)?

She was afraid of the pain and did not want to go through it again, but she could not tell others except for her closest friends or else she would face humiliation.

• Sarah cried when she realized her mother had to spend Mother’s Day in the hospital with her.  It was obvious she felt that her mom should not have been stuck in the hospital with her.  What does it imply about the kind of Mother’s Day her mother should be spending? 

She should have been spending her time at home relaxing and celebrating Mother’s Day.

• With kidneys that had only 10% kidney function, Sarah is still very active playing competitive softball. How is this possible?

She was very determined in her goals and wanted to be able to achieve them.

• The few weeks before her final surgery, Sarah’s parents were crying and talking on the phone a lot? What do you think was happening & why?

They were trying to persuade the potential kidney donor to donate her kidney, and after they succeeded, the donor had a kidney stone, which made them all the more worried for their daughter. 

Post- Reading

- If you were in Sarah’s position, with such weak kidneys, how would your parents react to your insistence on playing competitive softball?  Why do you think they react that way?

They would freak out and try to keep me at home, because they do not want me to endanger my condition, and to survive until I get a kidney donor.

1. A Broken Fence

Pre-Reading

Recall a time you would have liked things to have been different.

When I was in the principal’s office for committing an offense.

During-Reading

• What vehicle did Heather and her friend ride in? What were the clues to tell you?

A quad bike. The vehicle had four wheels, they still wore helmet.

• Heather said ‘ I leaned beside her, this not making sense’? What was it that didn’t make sense to her?

She was dazed, and was still in shock, so she did not believe that this was happening.

• ‘She’d escaped death’s grip but the damage was done’ tells you that Heather’s friend didn’t die. However, what do you think could have been the damage that was done?

Her friend probably had a broken limb, or became mentally impaired.

Post-Reading

- On face level, the title ‘Broken Fence’ refers the section of the fence that Heather and her friend hit and broke. However, ‘Broken Fence’ could mean more than just that. What do you think it could mean with regard to the whole accident? Explain.

She probably ‘broke’ her friend, either making her mentally disabled, or breaking their friendship.

1. Chain Reaction

Pre-Reading

- Do the experiment on the bottom half of page 116. If you still haven’t found close friends, it’s perfectly fine and normal. Just do the exercise based on three classmates/school mates you are generally comfortable talking to.

PRIVATE!!! Because I don’t want to offend somebody.

During-Reading

• If you met someone like Ashley with her hair in knots and wearing shoes covered with holes, what would the three things you would naturally think about her straightaway?

She was untidy, poor and blur.

• What was the chain-reaction that the title was referring to?

It refers to the chain reaction of kindness that Ashley wanted to start, where people felt good about themselves and people stopped making fun of others.

Post-Reading

- Imagine you were Ashley’s mother. What were the words you would have said to Megan to help her cope with Ashley’s death?

Everybody will die someday. Its not a matter of living a longer life, but what you did with the years given to you that will make an impact.

1. The Day an Angel was Made

Pre-Reading

- In your opinion, how old should one be at least before Death takes him/her away? Why?

They can go at anytime, as long as they have fulfilled their potential.

During-Reading

• The two friends, Shayln and Mackenzie talked about all the fun times they all had with Devon who had recently passed away. Why do people do that?

They are trying to make themselves remember Devon while she was alive, and not when she is dead.

• How much should Devon’s brother be blamed for her death?

He cannot be blamed for fighting with her. Looking at the situation, the outcome could be the exact opposite. Should Devon then be blamed for her brother’s death? I don’t think so.

• Life ‘can never be the same’ when you lose someone/ a pet you love and in this recount, Mackenzie used at least three ways to keep Devon’s memory alive. What were they?

She remembered her times with Devon, and would seek emotional support from her at her gravestone in the cemetery. She also thought that Devon looked peaceful.

• The title was ‘The day an angel was made’ and ‘the angel’ referred to Devon. What were her attributes that made Mackenzie call her ‘an angel’?

She never let a smile on her face turn into a frown. She was always cheerful, loving and caring.

Post-Reading

• What one thing would you like to be remembered for if you had to leave this world before your friends?

For changing my attitude?

1. My Star Girl

Pre-Reading

- When you care for someone, how do you show it? Just name one way.

By helping them when you can.

During-Reading

• What changed Elyse for the worse?

She started to smoke.

• The author of the article claimed that ‘there was nothing I could do’ and insist that ‘there’s nothing we can do when a friend takes a turn down the wrong path’ and that her friend ‘had to find her own solution to her problems’. If you had to disagree with these claims, how would you argue your opposing perspective?

We could try to slowly stop them through peer influence. Still, there IS a limit to such things, so we cannot always expect to control our friends.

Post-Reading

• Complete the quiz of 5 questions on page 129 ‘Where do you stand?’ For every answer you give, give a reason why you took that stand.

1. Get involved | 2.We don’t have a school dance. But keep an eye open anyway | 3.Get involved DUH! | 4.Keep an eye open. He is probably emoing out like Somebody| 5. Keep an eye open, because if I get involved she may beat me up or become a sociopath.

• Read ‘Codependency’ Pg. 130. Are you in a co-dependent situation? If you are, then think of what you should do to get out of that state. If you are not, then what would you do to ensure you do not end up being in a co-dependent state with troubled friends?

1. An Unforgettable Storm

Pre-Reading

- In your opinion, what is the best way for your friend to support you if you had a problem?

He/She could help me to understand and maybe even resolve my problems.

During-Reading

- When the floods came after Hurricane Katrina, people in New Orleans reacted in differently. From the article, list at least three ways people reacted in the article.

Many people were looting from other stores, their neighbors. Gabrielle  even commented that she recognised some of those people to be their regular customers. There was also a man who help to warn Gabrielle and her family of the returning floodwater and told them to flee.

Post-Reading

- Gabrielle was only going to visit her Mother and new brother for Christmas. Why do you think she isn’t she going back to New Orleans for good? 

Everyone who had helped them and gave them joy were all there, which made everyday seem to be a birthday for gabrielle.

Chicken soup Chapter 4 - Losing it blog question

Question for Blogging

What can you learn or take away from each of the eight chapters? Please consider information from the spotlight articles associated with the corresponding chapters.

To help you answer the above question, you could:

- pick out one  or more things you think is important to help you be a better person or friend and elaborate on it.

- consider if there was anything to help you cope with losing someone/some people through death, through geographical distance,  etc.  Say why it is helpful.

I could be more understanding, and know when my friend is unhappy or in a bad mood. I could help them through all troubles, and if I feel it is morally right, I will do it.(let’s say the government is corrupt, and you want to get your friend out of a sticky situation kind of thing).

You have to understand the situation and accept it Deal with it or adapt to it. After all, only you can bring your perspective on life back to its original position after losing someone.